There are so many things in my life now that still remain uncertain in the wake of losing Jeff almost 2 months ago. How has it already been 2 months? 2 months? Sometimes I want time to speed up because the love & loss is still so thick, but in the same breath every day we move forward is more distance between the time he was here which leaves me feeling so helpless. In my daily life there are so many things to worry about, make decisions about … so many. Most of them were part of our plan anyway, but now I’m here to carry them forward on my own. I try to breathe through each and every day and just take it one big decision at a time. Some days, I choose not to think about it at all and just focus on the small things like getting out of bed, staying involved in Jillian’s school activities and gearing up for our first Christmas without him. And trust me, that sometimes is enough for my brain and my heart to handle in one day.
I thought it would be a good time to bring my clients and potential clients back in the loop as to what this means to me professionally. And how it’s really time for me to adjust my sails. I am back to work, and still have weddings to deliver that will be ready soon. I try to make my way to my e-mail a few times a day and answer questions, fulfill orders. Yes, there will be a period of big adjustments as we head into 2015. I’m slowly coming to the realization that I will be a single working mom. And that’s a choice I’m happy about. In fact, I would’t have it any other way. But there will be adjustments. Big adjustments. Next year, we’ll be relocated and living in Dexter. I’ll be meeting with my clients in my home office as well as doing all of my ordering in person. I’ll only be able to book about half of what I usually book for both weddings & portraits until I get a better handle on a realistic workload as a full-time photographer. I typically get 4-6 wedding inquiries a week, so this means I will have to pass along some of these incredible clients if I’m not available or already booked for that weekend. I’ll only be able to shoot one wedding per weekend (which I do now, anyways) because it will be too long to be away from Jillian & Nash. I have 15 weddings on the books for 2015 so far, and 1 more in the works at a top secret location (yay!) and I’m not sure if I will take any more. But I welcome the chance to meet with potential clients and consider additional weddings depending on their location and needs. I’ll reevaluate as we get through 2015 and my hope is that I can get back to my regular schedule of 25-30 weddings per year once I’m in a different place.
This all sounds terrible, but really it isn’t at all. Well, at least I’m looking at the positive side of things! I’ll have more time with my clients, more time for personal projects & collaborations (yay!), work with some of the best wedding planners in this market (double yay!) and of course more love and less hustle with my own family. So, that to me is a win win win.
I have so many beautiful weddings from 2014 that I’ve yet to share. And countless seniors too! I have mentoring sessions to show off and even a handful of families that I had the pleasure of working with this fall. I can’t wait to share them all here over the winter. For now, my focus continues to be on healing and being 100% there for my little ones Jillian & Nash. As many of you know, we’re also in the process of restoring a 100 year old house so I have that little project on my plate as well. All exciting things. Life is good. Much, much different … but good. Our hearts are healing just a tiny bit every day.
Much Love, M
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